So you're Captain for the 15/16 season. What should we expect?
A stricter approach, if you're not fit enough to warm up you're not fit enough to play. Also anyone wearing an item of football kit will be dropped immediately.

What else would you class as a droppable offence?
Too many things to list in 60 seconds, but the obvious one is getting a card for chat back, no excuse.

Any predictions for the new season?
Unfortunately we'll probably lose a game for the first time in years, but it won't be a regular thing.

Any personal goals or targets?
Not really, I'm more focused on getting the team to play the way I know we can.

Best moment / match of last season?
Away to OGs, could have easily lost that game but we wanted it more than them and held on for the win.

...and the worst?
Missing games through injury, need to be out on the pitch with my team.

3s player to look out for this season?
James Morris, towards the end of the season terrified teams with his direct approach. Looking forward to seeing more of this in a central role this season.

There has been a lot of talk about the dehumanisation of 'keepers recently. Are keepers really people too? Or are they just targets?
Goalkeepers are people before and after games. During a game they are the enemy and must be made to look infantile.

If you had to, which other team / club would you go on a social in Putney with?
Putney Running Club, but I run it so that's an easy answer

If the 3s were a food, what would they be?
Vodka jelly. Fun and alcohol

...and if we were a boxer, what would our walkout music be?
Fort Minor - Remember the name

Spurs or Cheam HC?
Both

Who would you say looks more like Joe Oddy: Dom Beales, James Morris or Joe Oddy?
Are Dom and Joe different people?

You see #GaryAllen sporting an Epsom HC shirt while out shopping with the Mrs. How do you punish him post-match on Saturday?
There wouldn't be a pre-match, match or post-match for any player wearing an Epsom shirt

Hockey, Cricket, Horses and Waitrose seem to go hand-in-hand. Using evidence to back up your arguement, how posh are you on a scale of 1-10? (10 being posh, and 1 being any character from TOWIE)
I'll go for 7. Hockey, cricket and horses I'll give you, but I only shop in Waitrose between 4-6pm, the magical discount happy hours!

What tattoo should Shashi get for losing the bet on our unbeaten season?
Don't care, he left the club so he's dead to me now

and finally... Any words of advice for opposing captains reading this page?
The fact you're on this page means you're scared, you should be...

Next up... Michael Karolak