With a mixed tournament to Surbiton on the cards for the 30th July (there is still space for those not yet signed up!) our fixture against Kenley was the perfect opportunity for a warm up... and to practice the Dos and Don't of hockey life.

1. Thou Shalt not award goals incorrectly - we kick off our commandments with an apology. Our previous report incorrectly credited Gaz with a goal rather than Chris P. This is what happens when incomprehensible match reports are drafted after a jug of 'turbo pimms'

2. Thou shalt be Solid in defence - this game saw a terrific performance from Megan Lewis, Ellie Livingson and Charlie while others filled in extremely well at the back. Chris P spent an entire half solid in centre back, a queer feeling from the consummate forward he said was akin to deep sea diving...

3. Thou shalt not pass to Will Gault. He will not pass it back. He will faff about 4 yards from the goal with six defenders around him. An early goal did not discourage Cheam's supporters from giving him all sorts of stick the entire game, or from subbing him off immediately after scoring. Despite all the bullying, Will took everything incredibly well - what a lad

4. Thou shalt never trust Kenley to dress themselves. They wore all the colours. It was confusing

5. Thou shalt always pretend your strike is going wide. This is how Jimmy slyly did a goal. An assist from Naergs, who played the ball into the d and Jimmy's reverse flick effectively tricked Kenley's goalkeeper. This is what mixed is about!

6. Thou shalt not get subbed off by the umpire. Gaz was ticked off for aggressive play by a chap who then went on to freak out at his teammates when he rejoined the pitch in a manner of 'do as I say not as I do'

7. Thou shalt always be graceful - even when falling over. Incredible slip, trip, recover and carry on from Harry and from Jimmy. Auditioning for Swan Lake

8. Thou shalt always dive - both necessarily and unnecessarily. Charlie didn't have much to do due to Cheam's dominating play - but he made sure to do something! From a spot of sweeper keeper action to a completely unnecessary dive to save a ball going 6 yards wide. All was redeemed by a couple of awesome stick saves that secured his clean sheet. As solid as ever.

9. Thou shalt always be prepared. Cheam's resident boy scout, Jamie Gibson, scored an absolute stunner, knocking a surprise crash ball into the back of the net. Immediately subbed, excellent goal.

10. Thou shalt pass to the women. We played much better in the second half, mainly due to some excellent distribution from Johann from the centre. It ought to be noted that he did attempt to score from the baseline despite desperate calls to pass back into the D... but he promised never to do that again.

11. Thou Shalt charge the bionic leg, thereby never running in treacle. Thanks for coming Madden xxxx

12. Thou shalt always play hockey on your Birthday. Happy Birthday Harry!

Thanks to Doug as ever for umpiring - everyone played extremely will which is reflected by the score. Our final game is on the 28th July, with Tour two days later. See you then!