Cheam M1s 3 - Spencer 0

So, it's official. Cheam Men's 1s ARE TOP OF THE LEAGUE!!!!!! BOOOOOOOMMMMMM!!!!!!

Ok, so it's only week 1. And maybe we shouldn't get ahead of ourselves. But this was a strong, controlled, solid performance from the flagship men's team, which bodes well for the season, if we can keep availabilities up and injuries down.

We went into this fixture already missing a couple of stalwarts: one for having seen more red than a bull in Pamplona and one because he is ancient ("experienced") and his hamstrings are basically old rubber bands that have been left out in the sun too long. However, with a number of new players coming into the squad this season and clearly stepping up, we needn't have worried.

3-0 was the scoreline, a fearless penalty flick from Gaz, followed by a ridiculous goal from Russell "The Butt" Butt on his M1s debut, and finished off with a penalty corner goal at the final whistle. Still a lot of improvements to make, but a strong start.

Big shout out to our backline, in particular the not-even-slightly-confusing-when-calling-for-the-ball combination of Olly and Bolly (can we nickname him "Ollywood"?). And shoutout to Cheam junior Jamie Weston, who looks like he will be in the 1s to stay this season! Strong all-round team performance, but MOM went to Ollywood (it's sticking!) for his commanding performance at the back.

DOD deserves a mention - Gunny, after promising he would not get carded all season, picked up a green card with his virtually his first tackle of the game. This green matched his green shorts, which were definitely not regulation. Add that to him turning up steaming for the game and the rest of the team could breathe easy, knowing Gunny had sealed his fate.

Next game sees Cheam M1s travel to Oxted in a tough fixture, where we will be striving to maintain our current 1 game winning streak. Cheam army! But also high on the list of team priorities is the M1s social that Saturday evening. Expect Cheam's social media to be extremely underwhelmed. Huzzah!