By Chris Blackmore

So this is a story, all about how,
Cheam lost a match, it isn’t shocking by now.
I’d like to take a minute, so sit right there,
I’ll tell you all how I became a Prince of Despair.

At 10am at Nonsuch, the game was to be played,
A lot of us were hungover, it’s true I’m afraid.
Milling about, stretching, lazing around,
Cheam’s warm-up looking rather like a toddler’s playground.
When some Kenley guys showed up, who were ready to play,
With an organised warm-up, they were looking ok.
But when the whistle blew we all felt prepared,
Because Brandi had shouted at us, which made us all scared.

The match was quite even, ball spraying about,
And both sides found it difficult to really breakout.
When all of a sudden, at a short corner routine,
Blossom did something that was completely obscene.
After showing off his new pads, day after day,
Mike’s clearance was poor, and Kenley made him pay.
He shinned the ball straight into the ground,
And the striker slotted home, no messing around.

It didn’t stop there, and to add to our luck,
The umpire missed a foot that was blatant as f***.
Kenley’s striker looked up, and no call was made,
So he slotted past Mike, and we all looked dismayed.

Two - Nil down and things were looking bleak,
No one likes losing matches week after week.
Halftime was needed, and we all caught our breath,
We reminded ourselves that we should fight to the death.

Buchols took note, and stepped up his game,
And after stepping on the ball, got a green card to his name.
But he wasn’t done there, when he returned to the pitch,
He got another one for making the oppo his b****.

Johnny was fed up and thought he’d turn on his charm,
And he weaved his way through, causing Kenley some harm.
And just when you thought that he’d lost his control,
He took a big swing and scored a fantastic goal.

Unfortunately though, it just wasn’t enough,
We lost the game and I felt pretty rough.
The final league table gave me quite a scare,
Ending up in tenth, I was the Prince of Despair.

Cheam Hockey Club

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