Addiscombe M3s 1 - 4 Cheam M3s

When Linford Christie realised that he was no longer the fastest man in the world at the 1996 Atlanta Olympic Games, he decided to throw his shoes in the nearest trackside bin, while leaving the professional sports scene in disgrace. Obscurity followed, as did various accusations about drugs and lunchboxes. British athletics took the best part of a decade to recover.

Twenty years later, Cheam's favourite team travelled to Addiscombe to seek new hockey-based challenges. Not content with a strong winning run on astro-turf, the 3s decided to try out their skills on light sponge. The opposition fielded a stronger looking XI than the side who suffered a mauling at the Fortress in November, and were keen to give a good account of themselves.

With Blossom wasting his time watching a common-ball match with Joe 'Register' Oddy, The Great Frostilicus stepped between the posts for the third time this season, hoping to get his first touch for the 3s this year. There were also 3rd XI debuts for Lawrence Marsh and Jamie Gibson. Also, Andy 'The Cheetah' Hart made his much-anticipated return after four months of dancing around in the squared circle, and stopping punches with his face. In addition, there was a re-shuffle at the back, with Ted moved to Centre Back, and Big Gun deployed at RB; away from the safety of CB for the first time in two years.

The game started in a low-key fashion, with most of us desperately trying to get used to the pitch, but we took a deserved lead via Goalman. Addiscombe were keen to use home pitch advantage though, and took advantage of some loose play at the back to win themselves a short corner. The back 5 could then only stand and watch as the ball was dragged firmly into the roof of the net. 1-1.

The heroes edged the rest of a dis-jointed first half, and went back ahead through Goalman once more. With a brace bagged, the Putney public-relations man decided to spend the rest of the match pursuing aggressive hat-trick-avoidance; a tactic that nearly rewarded him with this week's DotD. We were still riding our luck at the back though, and talk at half time was that we needed to take more care in possession, and be more ruthless against a tiring opposition.

The jelly babies did their job, as we came out and dominated the second half, with Lawrence capping a fine 3s debut with a goal. The game looked won at 3-1, but a moment of madness gave Addiscombe's 'rotund' opposition striker a sniff of the ball 25 yards from goal. With Ted in close proximity, all looked well until Cheam's dark horse for Player of the Season candidate was utterly smoked for pace by the big number 9. Thankfully the chance was spurned, but the damage had been done, and Ted's DotD fate was sealed. Will Ted go the way of Christie after being forced to stare his own mortality square in the face? Will he become a televised jungle-dwelling non-entity? Only time will tell...

Despite this unsavoury incident, the fourth goal came with Mike Brown getting a neat touch on a Big Gun cross from the right. Other chances came and went, with the home keeper making some strong saves, including one great toe-save from a short corner.

Highlight:
The opposition umpire has clearly watched Brandi play a lot this season, as he rightly blew a foul against him when the ball was smashed through the air towards his chest. No excuses, he should have controlled it.

Lowlight: Hearing the grim truth about Bender and Brandi's concept for a new dating app business venture. I think history will show that the market just isn't mature enough for their idea...

MotM: A joint decision.
Having become a complete Jonny Eales fan-boy, over the past 18 months, Dom's rare appearance at right back was a tribute to the man, the player, the legend. The team approved, and this was reflected in the voting.
Fisty got in on the action too, luring the voters with a fine display in central midfield, full of running. With a landmark birthday looming, Saturday promises to be a big occasion, and the ECB lounge will be decked out with appropriately high levels of wipe-clean plastic.

A chance for retribution next week against Bank.
See you at training.