Old Reigatian M2s 0 - 2 Cheam M3s

Sometimes I like to think that the Cheam M3s are one of the more culturally enlightened teams in the Surrey Hockey League. Members of the squad's buoyant Whatsapp group think nothing of posting works of art from trips to Paris (see picture), or offering critical insight on the life and works of operatic maestros Verdi and Puccini.

Those who fail to meet the impeccable standards of this group are often ostracised. Typical casualties of the group are Joe Oddy (spelling and grammar), Shashi (verbal diarrhea), but they have been exceptions, and the retribution has been swiftly dealt out. Therefore, events post-match this Saturday have been a disappointment. First, Blossom snitched on his Vice Captain by trying to overturn his ruling to postpone DotD for the week; and secondly Bender decided to publicise his Saturday evening bedroom habits to the whole squad. Such details are normally held in strict confidence between himself, and his Internet Service Provider.

The whole week had a very make-shift / patched up feel about it. Joe Oddy decided that a trip to Copenhagen was more important than coaching, so training had to be conducted by Dom. Apparently jumping off buildings for a living pays more than most people would think. The results at training were fairly mixed, with Jonny smashing the ball for a 'home run' during our final shooting drill probably acting as the highlight. A sweet strike, but there will be less balls available than usual during next week's training session. Sorry Joe, but next time book a holiday in the close-season.

For the match, we were without a whole host of regular names: Chris B, Buchols, Ted, Bender, #Garyallen and Gary Morley. Also Blossom had been promoted to the 2s as punishment for the late release of the once famous pre-match twitter posters. Hopefully the lesson has been learnt, and normal service will resume next week. Sammy, Reuben, GCP and the Great Frostilicus all moved up to plug the gaps, and gave fine performances (particularly Reuben on debut). Also Mike Brown decided to drug himself up to the eyeballs in order to return a week earlier than expected following his back injury.

Given the make-shift nature of the team, we decided to abandon our usual 4-3-3 and go for a more conservative 4-4-2, hitting the opposition on the break. We started strongly, and an early Goalman run and pass played Reuben in at the back post. Sadly the ball just ran under his stick and the chance was gone. The team were encouraged by this, and a few minutes later the two combined again, but this time Reuben poked the ball home. Buoyed by our breakthrough we continued to press, and Goalman made it 2-0 with a firm strike from a tight angle. Reigatians pushed forward and almost pulled one back with a fine break, but when the ball looped over Frosty and bounced wide, we began to sense that today would be our day.

In the second half we worked to protect what we had, but forced a goal-line clearance and a couple of fine saves from the oppo 'keeper. Though OR's pushed hard, they found our back line in a stingy mood, restricting any further clear-cut chances. Late in the second half Dom decided to give the umpire some back-chat and was rightly greened. I'd like to think he did it as a tribute to the return of Dan 'Grean Card' Pearson, who incidentally looked as though he was going to keel over mid-way through the second half. Despite this, the team held on resolutely for a third consecutive clean sheet.

MotM: Jonny - Another superb performance at right back for Cheam's favourite son.
DotD: Dom - On a day when most of the controversy was kept until after voting, the green card gave everyone the excuse they needed to nail Cheam's Middle-East-bound hero.

The win ensured that the 3s will be top at Christmas. A superb performance following promotion last season.