Cheam 2's v Surbiton 5's

So a match into the season and our intrepid reporter seems to have shaken off the writer’s block and find his creative flow.

Cheam v Surbiton is likened by many to the great rivalries of our time. Real v Barca, Liverpool v Everton, England V Germany and Katy Perry v Taylor Swift.
A difficult week for the selectors meant mid-week heart attacks and then a bare 11 stepped onto the pitch to take on Surbiton.

The first half was a tense affair with Cheam dominating defensively playing a very effective half court press. The whole team played the system well and soaked up a significant amount of pressure.

This confused one spectator who, despite having played hockey for over a decade was entirely confused by the whole thing. After reprimanding the team for not pushing high enough she was gently put back into line with some “education” from those on the pitch. In a post-match interview her goalkeeping boyfriend said “It’s always difficult when she thinks she’s right and decides to shout about it”.

After this interruption the Cheam team went back to playing hockey. The goalkeeper and defence were kept busy but held firm. The press also led to a number of attacks on the break with Joe Cresswell and new boy Antony getting close to scoring on a number of occasions.

The defensive effort was too much for Andy Cooper to stand (literally). A highlight of the first half was his gymnastic tumble on the edge of his own D. While chasing an attacker. Who had the ball.

The second half saw a significant amount of pressure on the Cheam defence. Eventually after saves from the keeper and more work from the team, a good deflection goal put Cheam 1-0 down.

Mighty defensive performances from the whole defensive and midfield unit led to more chances up front. Unfortunately a number of these chances were kicked rather than hit while in sight of goal. The sensitive disposition of the striker prevents me from naming and shaming.
However – after a few more cases of iffy goalmouth composure, new boy Antony sharply finished into the corner. 1-1.

What happened next would be applauded by the clergy, legal profession and law enforcement and those interested in “fair play”:

The umpire awarded a 16 yard hit out to Cheam. However in a fit of archbishop-like honesty, skipper Nick Young admitted to clipping it on the way across the baseline.

As this play developed, the Cheam keeper was beaten by a bobbling ball and it was slapped in from less than a metre for Surbiton’s second. Speculation is rife that he was still dealing with the embarrassment of his opinionated girlfriend’s outburst. 2-1 Surbiton.

The game opened up as Cheam pushed forward looking to equalise. The midfield duo of Ashton and Misty gave a glimpse of what to look forward to this season – providing Misty stays on his feet.
Despite more chances at both ends, the result stood.

With the cold view of hindsight, a loss was a harsh result for Cheam. The team dug in well and worked hard for each other. As the early season rust shakes loose, there looks to be a lot of promise from the team.

MOM – Martin Harris. Honourable mentions: Coops and Charlie

DOD – Nick Young. “Honesty”. Less honourable mention: Cooper – who has their birthday party more than month after his birthday!?