Lets Get Ready tooooooooo Stumble!

So, after watching Team England at the EuroHockey, it would be fair to expect that a truly motivated, inspired and eager group of hockey players convened for a classic 1s vs 2s battle.

The hunger, readiness and preparation for battle was echoed in the team talks with inspiration in spades: team talk chatter such as “get the s**t out before the season starts” and “it’s not like tour is it?”

A Cheam HC old hand Robert Gopinath/“Bollywood” said what everyone was thinking about the 1s defence “the slowest back 4 in history” although it took the 2s most of the first half to work this out, and a decent chunk of the 2nd half to exploit it.

After a number of attempts on goal from the 1s strike force, including one from Chris Harvey/Smeagol that required a Hinch-like big time double save from the 2s keeper, the former hobbit was so excited that he proceeded to beat the keepers chest with his stick, whoop all the way back to the 23 and then crouch down, stroking the hook of his stick and whisper to himself about his “precious”.

The 2s defence of Andy Cooper, Nicholas Young, Sohail Ahmad and Dom Beales held out waves of 1s pressure, with sharp tackles and strong saves from the keeper (no, really!)

The 1s intensity in the final third did begin to pay though, with 2 goals coming from training ground moves to the by-line and balls being shipped to the flick spot. This was in fairness made to look better than it was by the 2s defenders choosing that time to go and get a drink or something. Don’t remember any of the penalty corners coming off though…. And Shep did some running.

One notable moment was an incredible high velocity headed effort into the top left corner. Gunny’s celebration of lying flat on the floor and not moving for a bit was a bit much. We’re not chavballers mate. (but really, if needed, concussion protocols will be followed).

By half time the score was 3-0 I think.

The second half started with what can only be described as a dark dark time. Following complete confusion, disorientation, the sun in his eyes, a shift in the gravitational pull of the earth and a difficult bobble on the ball, the 2s keeper left a ball that should really have not been left.
It’s over, it’s done. Let us now move on. 4-0
#KAPT

Alex Beattie/Tan-tastic, now back playing hockey, showed that running forward with the ball he is pretty easily intimidated by a few choice words from the oncoming keeper. Choosing instead to push the ball behind him on the edge of the D and run away.

The 2s awoke in the second half and ran in 2 goals on the break, both with strong finishes. If someone could tell me who scored, that would be lovely. James Morris had a hand in most things and put in a strong performance that belied his young years. One to watch this season!

The creature Gollum, fresh from a half time snack of raw fish and goblins strayed into the opposition circle and used his entire quota of attacking talent in one go with a screamer of a reverse stick shot.

The 1s ran in one more goal. I think it might have been Will Gault? Positional amnesia from the 2s defence may have something to do with that.

So a good run out pre-season for all involved.

With time and training, the 2s will remember who plays where, the 1s will perhaps deliver a slick penalty corner routine and the match reports may (just may) improve.