Cheam Ladies 1st XI

Report:
(WARNING: Parental guidance advised for those of a youthful or sensitive disposition)

The summing up of today's performance by the premier Ladies team and on behalf of the whole team? NOT VERY GOOD!

(N.B. This report has been edited to protect the innocent)

Report:
IT'S A CANNY GAME INDEED!

Alan Hansen once said "you'll never win anything with a bunch of kids". As everyone now knows, he was so wrong.

On Saturday, the Ladies 1s played a bunch of exceptionally talented Surbiton kids including a number who represent Englnd at jnr level.

The reverse fixture? 2-0 to the kids, a flattering result for the Cheam.

Surbiton 3s came to Cheam as league leaders. The most talented team we've played this season - skillful, strong and very, very fast - but perhaps not the most canny, a trait that time and experience will no doubt bestow upon them.

Surbiton took the game to Cheam, playing the ball around at will, hitting the ball with strength and accuracy, hitting Cheam on the break and generally keeping the ball but Cheam took the lead through a tap in by Ally Wyatt after some activity in the D.

End to end stuff continued with Cheam gaining a corner at one end, coming within inches of scoring a second goal lead before Surbiton hit them on the break with 3 passes and shimmy around Meg to make it all square.

A second goal for Surbiton made it 2-1 before Sylvie marauded powerfully towards the edge of the D to pass a number of players before whacking the ball into the D for Jenny, with her back to goal, reverse tapping it into goal nutmegging the Surbiton GK in the process. 2-2 at half time.

The second half brought more concerted pressure from Surbiton but with a defence marshalled by Rambo and Craigy and some heart in mouth, spectacular saves from Meg, Cheam repelled all that came towards them, breaking up attacks as if their lives depended upon it and, at the same time, having a number of attacks themselves through the excellent Scotty and Sylvie ably assisted by newcomer Clare Marsh, Jenny and Emilia in attack.

One final hollywood save from Meg before the final whistle blew.

The view from the sidelines? A great match to watch and that those in the claret and blue had a plan, stuck to it and wanted it more than the opposition. Well done all. For different reasons, our best match of the season.

Report:
HAPPY "2" Year

The Ladies 1s welcomed Cas, Emma and Annabel from the Ladies 2s for the friendly against Reigate Ladies 2s who reside in the division below us.

Generally, after 4 weeks off, the first game back is usually one to get through. Not a bit....

After some early Possesion and pressure from Reigate, Cheam got into their stride with some nice movement down the left flank in particular between Emma and Dot and some majestic "libero" play from sweeper Cas to initiate attacks. Mention must also be made of Annabel whose reach to intercept balls defensively was quite staggering. Cool with it, as well.

As the first half progressed, Emilia (the babyfaced assassin) began to get into her stride in her own altogether effortless way to cause mayhem and the first goal resulted from an initial save from the keeper which Emilia put in at the second attempt. 1-0 Cheam. Reigate hit back firly quickly from a corner. 1-1 at half time.

Some sustained Cheam attacks after half time resulted in a corner which Reigate's keeper parried before Emma swept the ball across the line. 2-1.

Rose, ably assisted by Sylvie, caused havoc in the second half down the right, through the middle and on the left resulting in a solo goal passing right across the keeper and into the goal. 3-1 Cheam.

Cheam played out the last 10 minutes totally in control. Thanks to Dot for playing on and causing Reigate trouble up front despite only being on one leg as well as Emma, Cas and Annabel for helping us out.

Great first win of the new year but tougher challenges lay ahead.

Report: One to forget. We came, we argued and we got splattered (literally).

They scored first through us letting one of their players wander free.

We hit back with a goal from Jen through a corner. One all at half time due in part to Shelly having a stormer.

Second half saw us concede possession and let the oppo take the upper hand all over the pitch. Same player struck again when we left her unmarked at the far post. 2-1. Fair result.

Imagine what we could have done against this lot if we had played as we know we can? Frightening.

New Year's resolution: to get some consistency week in, week out.

Report:
I can only recall snippets of the game as it's Friday night and I've had a sherry too many!

Pitch bouncy, new sweeper (Pankster, who was a revelation), fantastic goalkeeping performance from Shelly, 2 spectacular goals (admittedly, one was Epsom's but let's be generous given that we won), a brace for Rose and a 3-1 win. On to the next game.

Mine's a port and lemon....

Report: The Ladies 1s came out of the blocks like rockets to make amends for the defeat to Woking. Quicker to the ball, snapping at the opposition heels and stringing some good moves together, Cheam were the better team all round.

Increased pressure on the opposition goal resulted in a corner which Craigy converted with a straight strike. 1-0.

Further pressure earned us a few more corners again one of which Craigy hit towards goal and which Sylvana tipped in. 2-0.

After half time, Tulse Hill upped their game to make it a well contested first 20 minutes with Shelley repelling everything that came towards her in a cool and calm fashion. Ally Wyatt ended a mazy run by slipping the ball through to Sylvie to convert her second goal of the game> And then we allowed THD back in the game by losing our structure a bit. A well taken goal from THD was too late to make a game of it and Cheam took the honours. 3-1

Thanks to Sparky for stepping in to umpire at the last minute

Report: Unbeaten run ended!

The Ladies 1s first half performance against Woking was poor in that we allowed the opposition to impose themselves on us quickly, concentrating on their 2 ex National League players rather than playing our own game (did I mention they had 2 ex National League players?). Our midfield was misplaced for most of first half and our defence soaked up quite a lot of pressure (well, I might add!). Cheam still won a few corners but their goalie was equal to the shots aimed at her. We succumbed to a Woking goal just before half time. 1-0 to the oppo.

Second half and after a well deserved b*llocking from the coach, the difference was palpable with the midfield looking more confident, threading some nice balls through to the front three and Jenny, in particular, who constantly caused panic amongst the opposition defence.

As time went on, Cheam's attacks naturally laid them open at the back but the defence of Scotty, Rambo, Sinead and Chimpy repelled everything that came their way including the constant aggravation they had to endure from the talkative forward! To quote my heroine, Victoria Wood, it was like sharing the pitch with a chronically depressed budgerigar. Pity him indoors!

Further end to end stuff and chances for Cheam to score but the game ended in a defeat for Cheam. Onwards and upwards....

Report:
Never thought I would say this but PRAISE BE FOR THE 'C' WORD! Of this, more later

The Ladies 1s got off to a great start, taking the game to Spencer and gaining a corner in the first 5 minutes which Craigy converted with applomb yet again.

The good work continued for 5-10 minutes before we became sloppy in our passing and general play resulting in the ball being given a away on a number of occasions and Spencer getting back into the game. That said, penalties were defended stoutly and we went in to half time with the advantage still intact.

Better in the second half with Cheam taking the initiative much more and playing in a more joined up way. Nice touches from the midfield and much more assurance front and back gave Cheam control of the game. The game was put to bed when Pankster (I think) threaded the ball through to Rose in the D who slotted the ball over the Spencer keeper.

The 'C' word? The simple matter of (C)heam coming before (W)imbledon in the alphabet.

Report: The Ladies 1s went into the game against Wimbledon looking to extend their unbeaten run to 3 games.

Wimbledon marginally dominated the opening exchanges before Cheam got into their stride and started to exert pressure by putting together a few attacks one of which ended in Dot picking up the ball following a shot on target and decisively placing the ball in the bottom left hand corner.

Wimbledon replied via a well taken corner after some stirling defensive work from all the defence but in particular Chimpy who picked the pocket of the opposition left forwrd on numerous occasions.

Wimbledon took the lead into half time after what can only be described as a "kerfuffle" at the back and Jenny's excellent "ghost" goal coming 4 seconds too late to count. In between, Rose picked the ball up not far inside the half way line and ran, and ran, and ran passing at least 4 opposition players before narrowly shooting wide.

After a gee up half time talk from Charlotte, the Ladies 1s came out with renewed purpose and dominated the opening exchanges in an attempt to make amends. A mazy run and shot by Sylvie was turned over the line by Rose to make it all square at which point both teams played an equal part in trying to go for the win.

Cheam nearly scored from a number of corners and defended opposition corners as if their lives depended on it.

All in all, a fair result.

Report:
CROYDON CAUGHT SHORT!

When thinking about this game in the WEE small hours of Saturday morning, I suspected WEED be in for a tough game not least because of the KHAZI of a pitch.

To this end, I felt WEE needed an arrow-like "tee PEE" formation therefore avoiding the DRIP DRIP approach utilised (to good effect) the previous week.

From the outset, Cheam's play was free FLOWING with Ally Wyatt regularly pulling the strings to open the FLOOD gates and threading one particular ball through the eye of a needle to Rose who slotted it brilliantly past the Croydon goalie.

After half time, Cheam's second goal came after a mazy DRIBBLE from Ally Wyatt with Rose yet again on the end of it to slip it into the onion bag.

From there on in, Cheam regularly FLOODED the Croydon half with Scotty narrowly missing before Sylvie swept in Cheam's third goal. At this point, Croydon's chances were effectively DOWN THE PAN!

On a more serious note, mention must be made of Cheam's defence which has improved week on week and which has been threatening a CLEAN SHEET (I just can't help myself). Well, they delivered this week with a really co-ordinated and SOLID approach. Each of the defence played a blinder and Croydon's attacks were regularly snuffed out.

In LIEU of such a good performance and result, take next weekend off!

Report: To quote Toyah Wilcox, "It's a Mystery" especially at a quarter to midnight on a friday night after an evening sampling the juice of the grape.

But what of the game? Snippets only, I'm afraid.....

Patient build up, lots of possession in the first half, dogged defence when called upon especially by Rambo, dashing umpire and a cool goal by Rose. 1-0.

Second half, even more impetus from Cheam. Good work by the midfield and attack particularly with Emilia and Rose causing havoc, a nicely worked corner by Jen and Craigy resulting in a goal for Craigy, a few blows on the Acme Thunderer by the dashing umpire and Emilia running rampage to score Cheam's third.

Bit of a kerfuffle for OC's consolation goal but by this time it was all over bar the shouting and all that was left to do was a blow of the final whistle by the dashing umpire. Ding dong!

Yes, I have had a sherry too many if you must know!

Report:
TOO HOT TO HANDLE!

We came, we toiled, we were beaten by a better team. Sometimes you have to admit it.

Cheam laboured in the heat and conceded 2 goals in the first half against a Surbiton team who adapted to the conditions (heat and sandpit) better than we did.

But for Meg who pulled off some stunning saves and more generally the dogged defence, it could have been 6 in the first half.

The second half was better (we didn't concede further) but, as an attacking force, overall Cheam were under par.

Jenny and Scotty ran their socks off and everyone played until the end in trying conditions.

Forget it and let's move on to Old Cranleighans.

Report: "TO ME TO YOU, TO YOU TO ME"

To paraphrase old red nose (Alex Ferguson) himself, "Hockey, bl**dy hell".

Either team could have won this match, Cheam just edged it. For the neutral it was a cracker with both teams playing their part.

Cheam started well taking the game to BHE and testing the goalie on a number of occasions who was equal to everything. They took a fairly early lead through a corner struck by Craigy with Chimpy following up the rebound, doing something sublime and flicking it into the goal blah, blah, blah (is that okay, Chimps?).

Cheam then let BHE back into the game and they scored 2 by us firstly failing to deal with one of their corners and secondly getting caught on the break. We went into half time 2-1 down. Could have been more but for some cracking saves from Meg and some good defending from the back 4.

With Charlotte's half time words still ringing in our ears, Cheam came out with renewed energy and attacked BHE at will with a number of Cheam corners won by some great attacking play and with Pankster pulling the strings from centre midfield. Cheam equalised through another corner with Craigy slamming the ball towards the right hand post where Rose popped the ball in the onion back whilst on the floor and with her reverse stick. Ooh, get her!!! Jenny scored Cheam's third, again as a result of a corner out to Craigy and a touch by her on into goal.

BHE came back yet again to equalise before Dorofee scored a sweeping lofted winning goal into the top right corner having been set up by a fantastic right wing cross by Rose.

Well done to all for a wonderful team performance. Everyone supported each other and put in a shift on what was a really warm day where we lost our 12th man after only 20 minutes.

Report: I can't remember much about this game apart from the fact that the oppo's average age decreased by 20 years in the first half when Alice kindly agreed to help them out.

A complete blur as far as the goals were concerned and none conceded but, of course, in the oppo's words we weren't that good, they only had 9/10, we won't do much this season. Yadda, yadda, yadda! Last laugh and all that!!! Well done and thanks to Fiona for umpiring alone.

Report: Here we go again!

Another season, heaps of optimism and a first win.

Cheam Ladies 1s embarked on their first match of the season, albeit a friendly match, with the core of the team intact but some still on the beaches.

Hello to Anna Tiri and a sad goodbye to Jo S who we will miss massively.

I have to be honest, I can't remember a thing aboute the game apart from Craigy's goal, Chimpy's p-flick, a torn hamstring (Emilia - later downgraded to a pulled muscle) and a kerfuffle at the back which resulted in Reigate's goal (I see they've given themselves the win on Fixtures Live - the cheeky monkeys - but we won't cry over that).

Overall, everyone played well with particularly good performances from Chimps and Sinead who played at right and left back, Rose for her incisive runs and Jen for her clever runs, dribbles - ageless!!

Well done all. I thought fitness was great for the time of season and particularly in the sapping conditions but harder challenges are looming on the horizon.