Cheam Mens Vets "Clarets"

Report: Our record did not change on the weekend  not helped by my poor performance. Notwithstanding my negative contribution the team played well and had the winning of the game for 80% of the day.

A cold day at JAG’s saw the stalwarts of the team run out with 12 players, the perfect amount ! The early exchanges showed it would be a good game. Both teams had their chances with some great, sorry fantastic keeping by Frostie keeping the sheet clean for the first half. At the other end some great chances where created but not taken.

The second half saw some positional changes with Andre ‘ Xavi’ moving into holding midfield and Anton’ Can’t stop’ moving up front. This seemed to change our play and we started to open the HAC defence. Short corner to Cheam which our full combination ‘finally reunited’  calmly slotted 1-0 Cheam !

Bring on our infamous last 20 and our lack of fitness did a Tom Jones form behind the curtain, our wheels fell off. If not for Frostie they would have scored more than the 2 we did allow gifting them a victory right at the end. 2-1

Great play from David B and Cracker also need mention.

Report: A much changed side ran out on the premier turf at Reading this weekend with a slight hint of dread in our eyes, top of the log, gulp!

Out of the blue, like majestic wildebeest driving across the plains, Clarets came out of the blocks with intent and purpose Sustained pressure from the Cheam midfield and forwards resulted in short corner within the first 5 minutes. With all our stoppers out or MIA I delegated responsibilities to Frenchie to strike. He duly did this but as we were at Reading he thought showing off his skill was more important, so he skilfully struck the post with the keeper routed to the spot. The crowed was stunned, Advantage Cheam!

Reading shaken out of their Christmas induced daze upped their tempo but some fine goal line saves by David and David (good boy band name) kept the sheet clean. What part of their body they used we will ignore. Fast forward to the other side of the field, some great passing out of the back by Cracker set Boris free to drive at the D who intern set frenchie free to slip the ball passed the keeper. The crowd was stunned, again, the mighty Reading losing ??? 0-1 Cheam.

Discontent started to show in the opposition ranks and Cheam held the upper hand for most of the half. Unfortunately the dream could not last as our fitness started to remind us that we are mere mortals and with Frostie seemingly still enjoying the festive season we conceded 2 goals before the half. 2-1 reading.

The second half was again well contested but the blasting of the Reading troops by their Capitan did seen to compose them and they started passing the ball, showing their skill. Notwithstanding Cheam was the next team to score as Neil ‘Nureyev’ Swan Laked his marker and obstructed ?No Goal, home ground advantage, humph. The game continued in the defending, attacking vein for much of the half with Derek ‘Fluff’ missing a goal line sitter with a post man to beat. The best and worst moment of the day came as Charlie ‘Sprout’ Western turned his England vet marker for the 3rd time who in turn lashed out at our guest youngster as he sailed past. Yellow card!

Fitness again reared its ugly head as the half neared its end and we conceded a stroke which frosty got a full hand to but it seemed to slip in off the turkey fat. 3-1. A late goal made the score less flattering 4-1

Thank you to our helpers this week. Well played Cracker, Donkey and Sprout .

Report: A good looking team turned out at the ‘fortress’ (for the Ladies 2’s and the u-12 boys only) and with Indian gym scraping a team together we started with hope and glory in our eye’s.

The early exchanges were good with both teams showing a much fairer mix of skills and age than some of the teams we have encountered in this new revamped league. First blood went to IG with a skilled run form their young midfielder. 0-1 Exchanges were dealt at both ends of the park but a great passing move via most of the team and our Aussie midfield combination set Tris ’Hot Shot’ free in the D as he controlled the ball effortlessly and rifled the ball passed the keeper 1-1. So it remained until JK ‘axe man’ decided to give a stroke away, but he was just showing off as he then preceded to save it with a yawn. 1-1 at the half.

Some inspiring words from the coach at the half sent Cheam to sleep and we were 1-2 before Martin ‘Casanova’ could finish discussing the merits of hockey to his girlfriend! More up and down the field play ensued with IG winning the battle to go 1-3. A fine move / run by the midfield gave us a short corner which was calmly slotted by the French connection. 2-3.

More end to end play ended in a fine individual goal for the IG striker 2-4. More of the same ended with the Boris putting a great forehand cross court for Andrew ‘Cash’ to volley home 3-4 ! Game on !

With the lager/beer starting to distract the players we allowed a final soft goal to make the score less flattering 3-5. A game that could have gone either way.

Report: We won !... what a fine performance to dispose of the league leaders, with the ball passed accurately and our strikers in fine form.

So that’s what It feels like to report on a win but unfortunately I still have not had that pleasure ! Yes we lost again to extend our losing run to a bone chilling 7 in a row and cementing our position at the foot of the table.

An early start gave us the prospect of a healthy clear minded team but a smooth and well oiled team showed us what it would be like to play in the London league 1. They were 2 goals up within the first 10 minutes as they passed around us like beacons. Looking at the prospects Richard and I decided it would be better to go home or umpire with injuries playing up again.

The rest of the first half passed with the Cheam defence chasing shadows  but getting in the way somehow. 0-3 at the half.

A change in system did up the quality of the Cheam play and we looked potential scorers for the first time in the game. The speed and excellent passing of the opposition were still casing us problems at the back but with Frostie now doing his customary thing and getting in the way, things were kept slightly respectable. Unfortunately more goals followed, 4,5,6,7-0. One move from Cheam needs special mention, with 2 quick passes putting Colin ‘Shearer’ free on goal with only the keeper to beat ! Unfortunately Colin had to stop for tea as he sailed passed the keeper so he left the ball as a tip for the now attentive defender. 7-0 it ended.

Special mention to Martin for showing the opposition the some Cheam guys can play hockey.

Report: Do, or do not. There is no 'try'.- Yoda

It is a good indicator of despair when I must quote a silicon rubber puppet from a movie 30 years old ! We again slumped to a defeat this week at the hands of an Old Cranleighans colts team.

Sitting on the bench watching our opposition arrive I was mistaken to believe they were the subs for the 2’ s game which preceded ours. Once they were all dropped off by their parents we realized they were here to play us. We were bolstered with the addition of a second antipodean to our ranks as Andrew ‘Shorty’ ran out for us for the first time with great aplomb. The first few minutes looked even but we could see the youth would have the legs on us. At ten minutes with our game settling into a rhythm I decided it was better for me to sit on the bench for the rest of the game with a damaged calf.

Finally the youth and talent of their strikers started to show but not before Frosty showed them that age does not matter. Notwithstanding frosty they did succeed in going ahead before the break

0-1.

Cheam’s ex Capitan now coach employed some positional changes and Cheam came out the stronger wining 7 short corners in the second half and having a multitude of opportunities but with no success.  At this stage Richard decided I was lonely and joined me on the bench with an old FTSE injury, again would have to rely on our superior fitness with no subs. OC continued to pepper our goal on the breakaway but Frosty ‘the Wall’ kept them out. Unfortunately 2 skilled breaks by their striker allowed 2 more goals to be slipped past Frosty. 0-3.

Thanks to Molly for umpiring.

Report: After 2 weeks off hockey we were all rearing to go as we travelled to Malcolm and Richards back gardens to play East Grinstead. The game was on and off until the last minute with players falling to new arrivals (Congratulation Scott )and poor physical form but finally we were 12 to the turf which I must admit I one of the best I have played on for a long while.

To the game if I must !

After a mid week email form Ian ‘ tipster’ Sharpe  telling us that the mighty East Grinstead were not looking good and were ready to be whipped we wandered into oncoming traffic with gay abandon. Watching the other team warm up we quickly realised the scale of Sharp’s misdirection and what really awaited us. Our  fears were realised as the game commenced and we had our work cut out for us. The pattern of the game settled very quickly into Cheam defence for long periods with the interspaced Cheam break away up field. The Cheam defence had their hands full with an ex national league striker. Fortunately this was offset with the return of Malcolm ‘Bond’ Paul for his travels and he displayed great repose and positioning to shore up our defence admirably. Unfortunately the plethora of attempts on our goals finally resulted in 2 goals by half time.  Considering the age and quality of the opposition it was a fine performance.

Report:

“O, break, my heart! poor bankrout, break at once! To prison, eyes; ne'er look on liberty! Vile earth, to earth resign; end motion here” Romeo and Juliet

Alas the sun shone and again we enacted a Shakespearian tragedy as we delivered a good performance but were denied a result.

Having started the week with a well numbered squad 13 + one St Albans player, things went downhill quickly as the weekend approached. Ian decided that he had a better chance of winning with the 3’s so he was our first loss (He helped out and we hope he comes back). So 12 and Andre still looked good. Enter Hogg and his karma sutra injury on Saturday morning and it was 12 only.

Roll up game time and we are only 11 as Martin decided that cutting the grass and the hedge had to be finished before hockey so 11 souls only.

The first few exchanges on the field were well contested with both side playing well. Alas age struck again with Derek pulling up short in the last furlong but thankfully Martins lawnmower had run out of fuel and he had decided to attend hockey. 11 again but no sub still. The game continued at a good pace, for old guys, and both sides had opportunities but with HAC taking one of theirs at a short corner 0-1. More of the same continued with Krish learning, like every keeper in the club that has helped us, you will have your work cut out and he did us proud.

At half time some tactical changes appeared and we started to look better with Andre ‘the rock’(or immovable object) centring up defence with the rest of us chasing a goal. We had our chances and won several short corners but with both our key stoppers MIA or injured we were foxed! After a Vidic type scything tackle on Martin ‘Drogba’ (dive included) we were unlucky not to get a penalty stroke. Unfortunately more of the same ensued and the game ended 0-1 to HAC.

Report: Alas, yet again I have to report on defeat on the field of glory!

A fine sunny day set the scene for what promised to be a well contested match against St Albans. This time with 13 players we had depth in numbers which allowed us to mask our lack of fitness.

The first half was dominated by St Albans with them putting a great deal of pressure on our defence who performed well . In the first half both teams had their chances with the best going to St Albans, luckily we went into the break with both defences unbroken.

Unfortunately during halftime Mr Parker had secretly changed into a St Albans shirt and they were now playing with 12 on the field. This weight of numbers allowed the foe to breach our defence with a fine finish on a Parker own goal. (0-1).  This spurred us on and a fine flowing move from our midfield resulted  in a short corner which was converted by our well oiled combination (1-1). The game was back on. This was swiftly followed by a fine assist by David, unfortunately not to one of us and St Albans added a second (1-2). This is how it ended but all and all a better performance and if we follow the form book the next game should be a win.

Report: With my captaincy moving into its second game I am starting to feel like Martin Johnson with another loss chalked into the book.

The game was always going to be a challenge with us barely getting 11 half fit souls to the game. That said the first half went well with both teams having their chances and not converting. As the game progressed the old bones started failing with yours truly having his finger smashed and Derek faking an injury to dodge the charity run yesterday. This left us with 9 and one half players on the field but by divine intervention the rivers of Jordan parted and through the mist and sound of trumpets came our new star striker, or as the rest of you know him, Andre’ the umpire !

The game was back on and Old Cranlieghans upped their efforts and we conceded our first goal. After more good play from both sides our new star striker Andre’ found the roof of the net from a sharpie cross 1-1. This spurred on our opposition and they pulled a goal back. The game was competitive to the last with more opportunities for both sides going amiss. Finally the speed and fitness of our opposition took its toll and they scored a third.

All and all a good game with some positive signs that can only improve as more of our team return from their sojourns. Thank you to Craig for stepping in to help at the last minute and performing well as usual.

Report: All I can say is that the weather was great but our hockey was as missing as the cold weather !

The lack of warm up games showed in our performance against a good looking Reading side. The first half was dominated by wave after wave of Reading attackers but an inspired performance in the goals by JK kept the score to a respectable 2-0 at half time (this included a fine penalty save)

After a fruitless search for cold lager at half time more of the same ensued with the heat taking its toll on the Cheam players extreme fitness. During a lull in our heat inspired below par performance a team passing move from the midfield allowed Derek to slot a goal.

Unfortunately Reading were on target 3 more times in the second half, despite JK’s fine performance, the books will reflect 5-1.