Report: “We shall not flag or fail. We shall go on to the end. We shall fight in the Fortress. We shall fight on the training ground and in the bars. We shall fight, with growing confidence and strength in the air. We shall defend our fortress, whatever the cost may be. We shall fight on the beaches of Croyden, we shall fight on the landing grounds at Staines, we shall fight in the fields of Walton and in the streets. We shall fight in the hills. We shall never surrender – until the barman at REDS throws us out”
Winston Churchill (sort of)
The Day started well, the Mens 1’s who started in front of us at 1000 hours had a great result with 6-1 over Epsom with an awesome p flick from Omar…!
Perry was even on time, and we had a full squad, so far so good. The sight of seeing a great victory must have set the 3s in motion because from the brief warm up, all players showed why they had been picked with sharp efficient movement and ruthless ball speed.
The game started with a changing of ends from the oppo, no reason why, they just thought being away from the sun would give them the advantage. The same tactic that Croyden had used the week before. Unfortunately they had no taken into account THE PUBE! He had appeared from nowhere, and started on the right wing, from the off you could tell PUBE was going to make this game difficult for his marker who he kept leaving for dead as he whisked round him down the wing squaring off balls galore.
This led to the first goal. Gary picked up the slack on the wing and releasing play and then storming into their D like a rabid infection looking for its host. Pube screams for the ball and picks the ball up with a tenacious fashion on the reverse, clean strike and awesome GOAL!!!! 1-0 Cheam. Some even said the goal was ‘titalicious’!
The game then took a turn for the worse, ok no it didn’t. Sorry I would be lying if I said that.
The game exploded into life and got interesting (for the gathering fans) with yet more movement from the very impressive Pube. This combined with a handy looking Ted led to the second goal, domination of the middle park ensured that Donkey was able to roam around at the back looking for space and freedom in which to utilise. He was set on his way by Ted/Gary and slotted home a cracking GOAL. 2-0 Cheam!!!!
By this point Reigate Primary (so called because of the average age of their squad) were starting to bicker but also realise that the point man in this game was the Pube. This didn’t do much to prevent the next goal, another top effort for Pube who by this point was dominating the wing, leaving those who tried to mark, trailing in his wake. The rest of the midfield were able to push higher as Reigate had assigned their entire midfield to Pube to bring him down, of course they weren’t expecting a swift movement of square balls and lightening runs from Pube, Ted, Perry and AJ. The Primary were disorientated and lost track of Pube who bombed through the D and picked up the loose ball, smashed it at the keeps, saved, tried again, saved and finally the ball had bobbled away into enough space for Pube to batter it in the bottom right! GOAL 3-0 Cheam!!!!
By this point Cheam had stepped up their game and subs were being made for fresh legs and new faces. Pube, Perry were off and on came Andy and James. Complete domination had become the key word and Cheam were holding onto the ball like a training session. Dom who was playing up front was running down the left wing, in and out of their players and letting off shots left right and centre. If they had a less experienced keeper, they would have been down by double figures by half time. Fortunately they had, what can only be described as a unwavering and steadfast keeper who was charging down virtually every smashed ball. The tempo was high and the next goal was coming, Cheam had picked up on the keepers superb saves and had reverted back to smart passes and sharp movement to evade their defence.
Ted in midfield was soaking up any attempted runs from their midfield and storming through their ranks like a war hardened guerrilla releasing pin point passes to the centre forwards. On one of these runs he found a lively donkey who was knocking around on the edge of the D waiting for such a pass, it came and donkey wasn’t hesitant in creaming the ball past the keeper, two fingers up and off he trotted! GOAL 4-0 Cheam!!!!!
Shortly after this, half time was blown. Rapturous, is a good word to describe the mood in which the mighty 3s were feeling. Yes I just thesaurused it up!
Team walk was quick, not an awful lot to pick holes in, more like advice on where the full backs can go, which was very high up as long as Coxy and Dhirren were ok to be left.
Aside from that, some lovely San Pellegrino was drank and the heathens who had other liquids drank theirs.
Perry also informed everyone that 2 more goals would leave Cheam on a ‘0’ goal difference in the league, something very achievable!
So the second half underway, no changes, the team that started the first half starts the second, which incidenly is this:
Krish, AJ,
Coxy,
Dhirren,
Perry, Westy,
Ted,
Pube,
Brian,
Donks,
Dom.
The half started off slow for Cheam but we quickly broke down their stubborn and rather futile attempts at hanging onto the ball. Resistance is futile, so I am told!
Soon after this the cracks (grand canyon sized ones) started to appear in their midfield with the kids getting frustrated and trying to ball chase rather then man mark. The older and more experienced defence were trying their luck further up the field, leaving huge exposed spaces for Pube to exploit. Not much happened from this because they were defending in numbers and were essentially confined to their half, if not their 25. the occasional break would come with Cheams back line stepping up and taking charge. Coxy in one rather x rated incident, stepped to one kid and took the ball and half the player. After that the kid backed off and then laid every ball that he could off to his mate on the left wing. The left wing went nowhere with awesome movement from the midfield enabling a quick lay off from Perry. Neil then slalomed down the wing, jumping and side footing every rash tackle put his way. Neil laid the ball off for Dom who then cut in at such a tight angle, it was impossible to get a shot off, or so we thought, Dom laid the ball clean through and spanked it in. GOAL 5-0 Cheam!!!!!
By this point Cheam were obviously cruising and the Primary had given up on any comeback and damage control was in place. Cynical tackles and long balls had become the main objective. Changes were rung, off came Perry for AJ and Westy for Graham.
Graham our fox in the box had come on and was doing some serious damage to their back four as none of them knew his foxy audacious ways. Sneaking in on long balls and snap shots was really disrupting them! Wasn’t long before he did it, but Graham nabbed a cracking little steal and added to his haul of golden goals this season. GOAL 6-0 Cheam!!!!!
There isn’t much to add to this now, apart from one little gem. Coxy on the edge of the D took control, out did his man and unleashed a thunderbolt of a shot. So good, it took the keeper full stretch to the top left hand post and cross bar corner to deflect into and some how, only god knows how, away from danger. Good work!
Final score 6-0
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