Report: Saturday saw the Cheam Machine travelling to league leaders Reigate 3xi with revenge in mind.
The previous encounter had seen Reigate inflict the Machine’s only home defeat so far, with them leaving the fortress having given us an 2-8 lesson in breakaway finishing. Despite collecting a possible 17 of 21 points since that reverse, regular readers will know that moral and form has not been the same since that defeat. In order to rectify this however we have trained hard, drunk away our sorrows, watched foreign motivational films, and played rugby during warm ups.
We arrived at the ground early and in high spirits, and quickly started throwing the ball around. The umpire on the far side of the preceding game however didn’t appreciate this and proceeded to order us off from the pitch. Chastised, we left the pitch feeling like naughty little school boys, to warm up 40 minutes early and nickname Dick. Our skipper meanwhile quickly ascertained whether she was umpiring the next game by checking the time of the month with her on the calendar.
Once the game started, we were unsurprisingly quickly into our stride and went ahead early through one of our specially rehearsed short corner routines. Joe’s surprise barely off the backline drag push was rescued by Derry, whose cross was seized on by our preying Mantle. Revenge was in sight however in the reverse fixture their forwards has given us a lesson in finishing, so we knew had to be on our toes.
The next 60 minutes saw the real Cheam Machine return. Despite occasionally struggling to get the ball away from our 16’s, we stayed positive, worked for each other and eventually found our passing game. We remained a constant threat in attack whilst when defending, the midfield three hassled and closed down space. Dean was especially effectively at targeting and nullifying their most influential midfielder. When I say targeting, I mean harrying, hassling, niggling, whilst occasionally fouling him and subtly questioning his sexuality. This left their forwards isolated, reliant on the long ball and increasingly frustrated.
Despite defending for periods, we remained a constant threat on the break away. Our lone forward Derry held a high line creating space for our wingers to break at pace, resulting in several breakaways. Their goalkeeper was forced to make several saves from well worked moves, as their defenders struggled to cope with our movement and ball speed.
The second half quickly followed the same fashion with Reigate creating more chances as they poured forward in numbers. These were rebuffed however by a disciplined back four with several well timed challenges and where necessary last gasp blocks. If this line was breached there was the final obstacle of our goalkeeper Frosty, who once again was quick off his line and perfecting his impression of the Great Wall of China.
Attack often formed the best method of defence however. Their goalkeeper rescued his side several times, saving from Derry three or four times after well worked moves resulted in one on ones. As time wore on we prayed we would not rue these missed chances as the final result remained unpredictable until the final whistle.
This led, in honour of the (absent) honey monster, to high fives all across the back line, celebrating only our second clean sheet of the season. The result was achieved with a much changed back line,
This result means we are three points behind Reigate in first and remain two points ahead of Richmond in third, with a game in hand. To celebrate everyone, including Pepper, came back for a beer and the most boring game of rugby we have ever seen. Roll on next Saturday...
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