Cheam Mens 1st XI

Report: An unfortunate result for a game that saw some of the sides best hockey in a long time. After an emotionally bruising loss from the previous weekend, the side wanted to make the most of the home advantage.

Cheam played patches of outstanding hockey, leading runs and awesome passes. A few opportunities were missed, meaning we should have had Woking buried within the first 40.

An amazing save from Cockfish in the dying minutes as well as some hearty defense after the final whistle went saw us through to a draw. It could have been even worse...

Maybe more of us should have gone to practice. Seriously.

Report: Let's get a kitten on the screen!!!!!!!

As the fluffy one to the right of this match report should indicate, this was a good day to be a Cheam Men's 1s player! Sure it was incredibly early, ok we were bleary eyed, and yes we hadn't played competitive hockey in over a month, but that wasn't going to stop your heroes blowing out the cobwebs with a composed performance in the circumstances.

Things started well when the entire team managed to make their way to the changing rooms for our meet, rather than stray up to the pitch, in a rare show of attention to detail in their email reading.

Partway through the warm up, there was a slight blip when Glee Club decided to run up to the pitch, not noticing the entire team warming up on the netball courts next to him, and not hearing the entire team shouting after him. Nothing like a bit of vision from the creative maestro! We did fear that, much as the wildebeast is at risk from the crocodiles if it gets separated from the pack on the Serengeti, so too would Glee Club be at risk of a sound beating from the OC's 2s players when he arrived at the pitch on his own. In a positive omen, Glee Club made it back to the team warnmup unscathed, and even made up for his absence by throwing in a couple of cheeky extra lunges during the team stretch. What is he like!

So to the match. Well, it was one that Cheam generally had under control. Our defence marshalled well and kept the OC's attack at bay, our midfield had good possession and our forwards worked hard up top. It did get scrappy at times, but then for the first match back after so long this was not unexpected. OC's played well though and largely restricted the opportunities your Cheam heroes had.

Some highlights included Drama's now customary 'get tackled, then run back and sythe down the opponent when trying to win back the ball' manuover. Think the hockey equivalent of Vincent Kompany, only getting none of the ball, all of the ankle and coming in from behind. We all knew it wasn't malicious, but (much like Drama!) it definitely wasn't pretty, so it was a bit of a relief when the card produced was a green. Then Austin stepped up to the plate. This is a family friendly show so I can't actually tell you what happened, but he saw yellow for it and, in so doing, sealed his TOTD fate.

Oh yes, and then there were also the goals. Two of them, as it happens! The first by Squealer, going AWOL from the defence and deciding to turn up and score at the other end. The cheeky bugger! Then Austin scored to finish a neat team move towards the end of the game, in a valiant but ultimately misguided attempt to dislodge his TOTD nomination.

And then the final whistle blew. And we cheered. And we laughed. And we hugged. And we cried (well, Brandi did). And then we stayed and cheered on the men's 2s. And then we ate. And we drank (responsibly).

And hopefully we're going to try and do it all over again next weekend!

Report: A disappointing result today against a Reigate Priory side who are very capable. However, coming off the back of 2 very strong performances and playing in front of the home crowd at the Fortress, your Cheam heroes knew that, if they performed to their abilities, they would have every chance of getting a good result. It is very clear from our division this year that, every single side in the league is dangerous in their own way and capable of taking points off each other, if the other team is off their guard. So Cheam were taking no chances and approached the match with focus.

Unfortunately, all focus and planning rather goes out of the window when, within the first few minutes of the match, one of your players gets yellow carded, in a decision that surprised both Cheam and Reigate Priory, for what seemed like a pretty inoccuous challenge. An unfortunate Dim Weasel was the man to take the sin-binning for allegedly failing to retreat 5 yards before making a challenge from a free hit. We won't go into the detail of that decision but needless to say we disagreed with it! But with 10 men from the early stages, Cheam were forced to defend in numbers and Reigate Priory took the initiative.

Cheam actually played extremely well for long periods in the first half, but didn't get the rub of the green in terms of 50-50 decisions and Reigate Priory took full advantage. an unfortunate mistake from the Cheam defence gifted the ball to the Priory and, fair play to the forward, with the ball in the D but near the baseline, he found the only gap in the goal perfectly with a devastating roof. 1-0 was how it stood at half-time.

An inspiring teamtalk from Coach and a change to the system brought the team out all guns blazing after half-time, and Rob C finished a well worked move expertly for his maiden goal in the 1st XI - well done that man!

Cheam were now committed to all-out attack and created a host of opportunities and pressure on the opposition D. This was met with sporadic but dangerous Reigate counter attacks - this was certainly an entertaining game for the neutral. Interspersed into that passage of play was yet another harsh yellow, this time for Glee Club, for a pretty innocuous (albeit mistimed) stick tackle outside of our D. Again depleted in numbers, and struggling to get the 50-50 decisions, Cheam unfortunately lost our heads, and with Reigate more deadly with their possession, worked their way solidly into a 3-1, then a 4-1 lead.

A special mention has to be made for Frazzle. That is a boy who enjoys all the hockey he plays and likes to revel in the glory, no matter what the circumstances. With just under 10 minutes to play, another well-worked Cheam move ended in a clever first time finish from our resident mentalist. Now most players, having just brought their team back to 4-2, might grab the ball and leg it back to the half-way line. Not so for our Frazzle. Running to the sidelines with a 'baby cradle' celebration (something you want to tell us B?), he proceeded to chant 'Who are you, who are you, who are you?' at the opposition while hi-fiving the entire of the watching crowd. Five minutes and a Frazzle-inspired pitch invasion later, we were ready to go again. But time was not on our side and Reigate Priory took the spoils.

As said, a disappointing game but not one to get too downhearted about, the very peculiar circumstances of this match that affected our performance means let's chalk it down to experience and not let it happen again! No taking anything away from Reigate Priory either, who also faced cards, but took their chances very well when they came along.

Next week sees a tricky trip to Surbiton, where we will certainly have a grand fight on our hands for the 3 points.

On a sidenote, as for the post-team showers, I can heartily recommend the new Original Source Mint & Walnut 'superscrub', which provides a new and refreshing twist on the tingletastic Original Source Mint magic variety that has provided much post-match shower entertainment in the past. It retains the tingle of the Mint, while adding the scratch of the Walnut, for a truly revitalising experience. Just a thought...

Report: This weekend saw your Cheam heroes take on the might that is the PWs 2s. PWs were ahead of Cheam in the league table, but Cheam were coming into the game on the back of probably their most consistent performance of the season so far, against EUHC Gamblers.

I will confess early doors that I remember very little about the specific details of the ins and outs of what went on in the match. So this report will be big on hyperbole and little on actual attention to detail...

After the usual prematch banter and LittleTom's inspirational boombox tunes, warmups began in earnest. Cheam went for a cheeky little new routine involving no actual use of hockey sticks until quite late on in the day. It seemed to work, with the lads hyped up and ready to play, when we did actually get around to picking up those sticks. BJ nominated himself as an early contender for TOTD, in what can only be described as an epic fail at shouting 'Cheam' in the team huddle. Lolsies.

Credit to PWs who are looking like a stronger side than last year, they put your Cheam heroes under a lot of pressure from the off. But your Cheam heroes, being the heroes that they are, heroically defended their goal. After 15 minutes of pretty solid pressure on us, Cheam hit back. Blam! A quickly taken free hit from the back started the play, as Cheam went up the pitch on the counter. Ball was put across the D, where Seb was on hand to pop his CHC cherry with a smart deflection.

This turned the tide, and Cheam quickly scored another with a well worked short corner, finished expertly by Seb. KAPOW!

And the final nail was put into the PWs coffin when the impossible happened. An absolute miracle, a thing of beauty. Time stood still, the heavens opened and the almighty himself looked down from on high and said 'Damn, I didn't see that coming...'

We will always remember where we were at that precise moment in time. I was at centre back, on the half-way line, posing for Sparky's camera on the sidelines.

St Tropez scored (a goal).

BOOM! First of many (maybe)

There were plenty of fiesty tackles going in and Cheam were picking up quite a few bookings. Half-time team talk from coach was focused mainly on tackling, particularly tackling when running back side by side with an attacker.

At the re-start, BJ again made a big shout for TOTD, subbing himself off and leaving your heroes with 10 men. He would later claim coach had asked him to come off (something which coach denied, but with a very suspicious grin...). There was also a brief moment of hilarity when the umpire insisted a young PWs forward stay 5 yards from the ball at pushback, before realising it was a PWs pushback, not Cheams, and the young terrified forward was only trying to take it.

But then, in the second half, stepped forward one man. A man who said - 'No, I don't care what you think. I don't care how hard you've worked to get the TOTD award. I will have it for my own!' A man who had his heart set on being the first to wear the new TOTD sombrero (yes, you read that right). Starting things off by earning a yellow card for EXACTLY the sort of tackle that we had talked about not making at half time, your TOTD champion rounded things off by missing an open goal, dealing a potentially devastating blow to his prospects of retaining the Mantle-Hutson cup. Brandi, we salute you.

A further yellow was issued to Glee Club for dissent, and with only 10 men for the majority of the half, things were always going to be more tricky. Despite excellent defending when under pressure, we conceded a second half goal. However, we had further chances to extend our lead, interspersed with PWs pressure, and so when the final whistle blew, 3-1 seemed a fair result. PWs had responded well when in danger of being blown away, and although we would have liked a more emphatic win, at the end of the day it was a very good 3 points.

And then we we went back to the clubhouse, ate food, made merry and watched Brandi don the TOTD kit.

Report: And so, ladies and gentlemen, after a season thus far of near misses and spurned opportunities, I am pleased to report that the Cheam Men's 1st XI finally took their play up a level and got the result their performance deserved.

It all started on a winding train journey into Crystal Palace, players plotting and ruminating on how they might get the better of the Gamblers. Our last encounter in the previous season had ended 1-0 to the Cheam, with Flasher scoring the decisive goal in his final match for the club. Our matches against Gamblers have always been hard fought affairs, and this one was to be no different.

We welcomed two new additions to the 1st XI squad, Seb and Rob (nicknames pending...). We had a good squad of 14 players and felt confident about being able use them to good effect, to wear the Gamblers down. Then the Gamblers turned up with 15... you win this round EUHC...there was clearly going to be a heavy strain put on the post match teas.

The match itself was a hugely competitive affair, and I am proud to say that every single player had an outstanding match. We have in past years been guilty of starting matches slowly, but this time round was rather the opposite. Seb made an instant impact, driving the backline and passing the ball across goal for the Dim Weasel to slap home at the far post. 1-0 to the Cheam with barely a couple of minutes played.

After a strong first 10 minutes from your heroes, Gamblers began to get themselves back into the game. A couple of great saves from Stumples kept them out before they brought the score back to 1-1. Then Baby gave away a penalty flick when he rose crounching tiger style to scissor kick a Gamblers forward in the chest. Both teams watched with baited breath as the EUHC forward stepped up to face the man-mountain that is Stumples in goal. A little known fact - Stumples is in fact a classically trained trampolinist (from the Russian school). He used every ounce of his agility to rise up into a backflip and scorpion-flick the hockey ball away from the top left corner of his goal. That's what I'm pretty sure happened...

Stumples' heroics gave Cheam a lift and we continued to cause the opposition all manner of defensive problems. Our defence were resolute and kept out a huge number of successively awarded short corners in both halves, with credit going to Bandit, MadDog and Stumples in particular. Our midfield kept strong in possession and worked damn hard off the ball. Special mention to Rob, who slotted in seamlessly and will no doubt add strength to the team with his play. And our forwards - well, they scored two further excellent goals, finished expertly by Glee Club and Drama.

Aside from our goals, chances came aplenty for Cheam, with countless training ground moves saved by the Gamblers keeper (I can't give away what those moves are here, for fear of spies, but we all know what they are...). But special mention has to be given to a beautiful aerial ball played from outside the attacing 25 to Little Tom, in space in the opposition D. Little Tom hit the ball coming over his shoulder on the full volley, without it bouncing, and the crowds gasped as it bulletted into the side netting. Spectacular, my friend!

As the final whistle blew your Cheam heroes were elated, exhausted, relieved and excited that we had set ourselves a benchmark to live up to in future matches. We knew we were close to putting on an outstanding performance, and this week it finally all came together.

And then we went out at night and partied like crazies...

Report: Well, as it turns out, this match report could be virtually a carbon copy of last weekend. Your Cheam heroes dominated, and dominated, and dominated. UCL are a decent team and played some nice hockey at times, but it was Cheam who dominated the possession and play, and who created the majority of the chances. But sometimes a team just doesn't get the breaks.

UCL scored first, in controversial circumstances. In a rare break forward, they managed to get a strike onto our keeper, Stumples, who pulled off a good save. Then the controversy, as a UCL forward proceeded to bundle into Stumples. Now, Stumples is not usually a man to hit the deck, but there was more than a touch of Drogba about the way he went down. On any other day it would be a free hit to the Cheam but the infraction was not spotted and UCL got away with it. 1-0 UCL.

Cheam then scored a beautiful goal, straight off the training ground, with Glee Club applying a gorgeous deflected finish, but again the Gods were against us and the goal was disallowed, for an allegedly dangerous hit. The team were stunned, and Coach was livid, but there was nothing we could do.

The match got pretty fiesty, and cards were picked up on both sides. Your Cheam titans had clearly read last week's match report and were determined to prove that Brandi had competition for the 'hardman of the team trophy'. After a 'robust' challenge from Bandit, one of the UCL lads managed to lose his cool and kicked out at our one-armed adventurer. A yellow card seemed inevitable, but the UCL boy got just a ticking off, and was lucky to stay on the field.

Bandit avenged that kick in the best way possible, by unleashing an absolute bullet of a short corner to bring the score back to 1-1. For the remainder of the match Cheam continued to dominate. And then disaster struck...

With only seconds left to go, an attacking long corner to Cheam backfired dramatically. An attempt to pass backwards was shanked, sending the ball back into the Cheam half and straight onto the stick of a UCL forward. As your heroes scrambled to get back, UCL broke into the D and cut the ball back for a simple tap in at the back post. There was barely time to take the pushback before the final whistle blew.

This was undoubtedly a gutting defeat, but sometimes you can play very well and just not get the breaks in a game. Spirit in the team remains strong, as our excellent all-round play means that at some point soon it'll all come together. And that is going to be a painful moment for any opposition.

Next week, a tough and exciting test against the EUHC Gamblers...

Report: A dark, rugged wasteland. A souless, joyless expanse of nothingness. Halloween come early. The Kennington Park astroturf that your Cheam heroes had the displeasure to play on this weekend was indeed a sight to behold, more patchy and inconsistent than the Dim Weasel's moral code.

The team were hit by an unforseen pullout late in the week, with BJ apparently being forced into a Saturday wedding (no doubt of the shotgun variety, the little devil). On the day of the match itself, Little Tom made clear his intentions to be the early pacesetter for the TOTD awards this season, by pulling out of the game by text, 10 minutes after the scheduled meet time. However, with a decent set of players out, we listened to the trusty words of our Coach and, eager to make amends for last week, set about the game.

And we dominated. And dominated. And dominated. But we couldn't score. And we dominated. And dominated. And dominated. But we couldn't score. And we dominated. And dominated. And dominated. But we couldn't score.And we dominated. And dominated. And dominated. But we couldn't score.And we dominated. And dominated. And dominated. But we couldn't score.

And Brandi got a green card, developing his reputation as the 'hard man' of the team. Which possibly tells you more about the team than about Brandi...

And then Wanderers got a short corner. And they scored.

That was pretty much the story of the match. Your Cheam titans played great patterns and dominated possession. Short corners came and went aplenty, and on another day we might well have won 4-0. But we weren't clinical enough and we paid for it.

I would here give you an appraisal of the opposition's teas, but the opposition told us they weren't going back to their clubhouse as they didn't really do any food there, but were going to a pub, which didn't do food either. And which they didn't invite us to. Cheers for the class A 'hospitality', lads. Undeterred, the Cheam machine gave there opposition a lesson in how to be sociable. We relocated to Drama's bar, The Lost Angel, in Battersea, where we feasted on burgers and ran an impromptu fines circle.

At 3pm, 8 jugs of beer and a fully drained bottle of tequila later, we looked back over our performance and came up with the following conclusions for the future:

1) Don't be the fines master. In the long run, it just isn't worth it;
2) Don't share Frazzle's drinks - it'd be pretty unhygienic;
3) Learn the e.g. rule (Glee Club);
4) If you're a Kiwi, just accept you are a Kiwi - it's embarrassing when you deny it.

Lessons that will stand us in good stead for the future. Two tough weeks of matches ahead against the top two sides in the Division. The Cheam machine is brimming with potential but yet to fully fire. Will this be our time....?

Report: The Cheam Machine rolled into this weekend's game on the back of a hard-fought victory against Woking, and knew Old Reigatians would be no pushovers, despite their lowly league position. We were missing several regulars (Frazzle, Bandit, St Tropez, LittleTom) and still coming to terms with the loss of ASBO to long-term injury. But no excuses, we still had a squad that, on its day, should have been capable of putting Old Reigatians to the sword.

The team warmed up and were feeling confident, and the match was sparked into life with 2 stunning early goals from your Cheam heroes, to put the home side 2 to the good. The first, some great team play, resulting in the cheekiest of touches from Torres for 1-0. Torres appears to be mirroring his Premier League counterpart in finding his goalscoring boots, more of the same in future please!

The second goal can only be described as one of the best team goals a Cheam side has ever scored. Shut up! I will not! Great play from the midfield to win the ball, ball passed back to the defence and quickly moved up the right. Passes up the right and into centre to get the ball to Drama, whose inch perfect cross from the right is tucked away with an awesome undercut slap from resident slapper, Gaz. BOOM!

Unfortunately, the Cheam machine was plagued by ill-discipline. I would like to say that this is because the team is made up largely of hard-nut man beasts and the opposition couldn't live with our crunching tackles. The reality is that the cards were for a high stick and a back stick. Doh! But playing with 10 men outfield for 20 minutes of the match was costly, and allowed Old Reigatians to get a foothold back into the game. With Cheam down to 10 men in the 1st half, Old Reigatians were able to stave off a potential thrashing, scoring a well-worked shortie. They had their tails up and missed a sitter just before the half-time whistle. 2-1 in at the break.

Half-time team talk from Coach was not downbeat and the Cheam legends, though disappointed to be only 2-1 up after a dominant half, recognised that if we kept playing the way we had in the first 35, we would win this game.

We did not. The next 35 minutes can only be described as disastrous. Poor play, wasteful passing, poor movement and another yellow card meant that Old Reigatians were able to take the initiative and largely control the play. Cheam's defending became ever more desperate and, just when it looked like we might hang on for the win, a morale-sapping equaliser was scored.

A very important lesson was learned today in the importance of keeping our workrate ludicrously high for the full 70 minutes. The reality in this league is that any team can beat anyone else, so it's up to us to make sure we don't let teams back in.

TOTD - BJ. I won't lie, I'm not sure why, and Brandi was VERY relieved. But with a name like BJ, I guess he was always going to be in with a shout...

Your heroes are hurting and hoping to right some wrongs in the match against Wanderers next week. An extract from the team email:

"We are Cheam, we are brothers, we shall fight and win and lose together.
We shall live and die together. If we fall, we shall rise. If we fall
harder, we shall rise quicker. And when we have risen for the millionth
time, when we have given ourselves completely, when we have nothing,
simply nothing left - THAT, my brothers, is when we shall bask in glory!"

Report: 12pm - Shags & Co set off in car, determined not to pay a late fine.

12.45pm - Others set off.

1.20pm - Shags & Co arrive at Woking. EARLY! Boom!

1.25pm - Stumples arrives. Sits on his own. He's a lone wolf, looking for his wolf-pack.

1.50pm - Others arrive. LATE! Shags is smug.

1.55pm - Little Tom has forgotten to bring the fines box and DOTD outfit. Early contender. Oh dear.

2.10pm - Off-pitch warm-up, inspirational teamtalk from the glorious leader. Teammembers (minions?) look on in awe. Team go jogging (silent 'j').

2.45pm - Match starts.

2.47pm - Cheam dominating. Shortie - miss!

2.50pm - Cheam dominating. Shortie - miss!

2.52pm - Cheam dominating. Shortie - miss!

2.55pm - Cheam dominating. Try to dribble in our half. Woking intercept and score. Doh! 0-1.

3pm - Cheam dominating. Shortie - miss!

3! .05pm - Slick Cheam play down the right, beautiful ball played into the D and Glee Club finishes expertly. The (two) Cheam supporters go wild. Glee Club looks happy and does a Britney Spears / Eminem mash-up. 1-1.

3.10pm - Cheam dominating. Shortie - miss!

3.14pm - Cheam dominating. Hit a 'glory pass' across opposition 25. Woking intercept, go up the pitch and score. Glory pass not so glorious. Doh! 1-2.

3.15pm - Half-time. Inspirational teamtalk by the glorious leader. Alternatively, the hairdryer treatment. Team look on in wonder at the genius of their great captain. He truly is the pinnacle of man.

3.25pm - Second half starts.

3.30pm - Frazzle refuses to warm up to come on as a substitute. Cheam fans outraged. Frazzle later claims their was a miscommunication through the interpreter. Two week suspension.

3.35pm - Cheam dominating.

3.40pm - Cheam shortie. Bandit sends missile into the corner of the goal. Fans go wild. Bandit does trademark 'Can't touch this' running man dance. BOOM! 2-2.

3.45pm - Cheam shortie. Huddle at top, decide to hit ball right corner. Bandit hits ball left corner. OUTRAGE! Bandit scores, so it's all good! Bandit does the robot. 3-2.

3.47pm - Cheam dominating, Woking starting to get riled. Tan Man attempts to take ball on the turn, stacks it and starts giggling while falling over. What is he like!

3.50pm - Woking play clever through pass, cut open Cheam defence. Forward through one-on-one with Stumples. Stumples saves and does 'You go girlfriend' wiggle. Bosch!

3.55pm - Bandit lopes up the right, ball crossed in, Glee Club scores at the far post. Crowd go bananas! Glee Club looks happy for once.

4pm - Final whistle. General merriment. Baby does his happy dance.

4.30pm - Little Tom voted DOTD. Team consider renaming it 'Tom of the Day'. Bandit voted MOTM. Everyone cuddles.

Report: The roar of the crowds, baying hoardes of followers, flares set off around the ground and Cheam's thin blue line on full alert. On the pitch, a banner hanging - 'Abandon hope all ye (away teams) who enter the Fortress'. A single crazed old crone cackled menacingly (this could have been Tebbsython or Keith). It could only mean one thing... the 1st XI's first home match of the league season.

We were without the Gallic flair of our very own Torres and missing the creativity of midfield songster Glee Club, but, although short on numbers, the quality of our squad was high. Barnes, it has to be said, played a good game and appear a stronger outfit than last year. They put your Cheam heroes under immense pressure in the first 15 minutes of the match, and it took some resolute defending from the backline and the magnificence of Stumples in goal to keep them out. And, after waves and waves of Barnes pressure, Cheam hit them with the sucker punch. A quick, counter attacking move starting from the back, ending with the cheekiest of finishes from Drama. One shot, one goal, and the legions of Cheam fans were baying. From then on Cheam rather began to dominate the play, although Barnes continued to have dangerous spells and kept Stumples on his toes.

Being short of players, your Cheam titans decided to up the challenge, by taking out their own players. First, Bandit took it upon himself to deflect up a wicked Barnes sideline hit into the head of his own team captain, which left him seeing stars and unable to continue. How would the Cheam legends cope without their talisman and leader, the one who they all (metaphorically, not literally) looked up to? Annoyingly rather well, as Cheam continued to control the game. Next, Baby Boyce. Readers of previous years' match reports will know he has form for this sort of thing. With an evil chortle he undercut a vicious hit directly into the nipple of vice captain, the Dim Weasel. Are you boys trying to say something about our leadership team??? Luckily, the Dim Weasel's healthy layer of padding soaked up the impact and, after some colourful language, he was able to continue.

And so the match went on, and Drama scored another cracker, the ball stolen from a Barnes defender and smashed past the keeper, leaving the net bulging. Cheam continued to play well and had more chances, but there was to be no third goal. Still, playing with no subs for most of the match, the team put in a huge amount of work and can be very pleased with this performance.

And then there was banqueting, merriment, damsels and general larks and capers.

Report: Nerves were high the morning of the 1st, too much for some as tactical power naps were taken in the club changing rooms. The first league game was upon us, Camberley were our victims. The armada arrived fashionably late, mentally prepared for the game, with minds focused on their individual roles – tan man visualising missing the goal; he was ready. Sceptical song choices were made by our very own Tom Garrod as players limbered up, but the match was soon underway.

Two goals due to break through attacks happened in quick succession from the opposition, but Cheam heads remained high as the poignant words of shags’ team talk echoed through our ears.

Shapes and angles were thrown everywhere as the ball was skilfully bounced around the pitch resulting in a perfectly slotted goal by Torres - the supporter was going wild!

Cheam fought and fought with waves of attack, with skilful play from all across the midfield and the top three. Special mention for little tom who tried the elusive sextuplet bluff on the Camberley defence, with the newly nicknamed tom tango.

The Cheam defence stopped any Camberly attempt at goal with all the back line showing why we are a force to be reckoned with. The match ended 2-1 to the opposition, but technique and team spirit were at a new level, and it promises to be a great season.

Report: Who would have thought there would be another team as nasty and whiney as Kenley out there….but we found them. No sour grapes, they won and scored some good break away goals but there were some angry and disappointed faces in the Cheam huddle post game.

We battled hard but with just 11 men after Milly’s pre-game disappearance and a long absence list, it was always going to be an uphill struggle. So to run through the game, they scored, we scored, they scored, they scored, we scored and they scored straight after.

Special mention to Drama, great heart and commitment, scored a great goal after being fed by Brandi and was a constant charging, fouling, abusing threat to the oppo. Mad Dog and Shep played solidly at the back, Molly stepped up well and Shags was having a blinder until he tried to dribble past someone. It’s not in your locker my friend, stick to drag flicking. Our second goal was a delicate touch from LT at a short corner from ASBOs pass, straight off the training ground.

Champagne moment…deciding on whether a team member should be now known as Spitters or BJ, jury is still out and will confirm next week.

League starts this Saturday week, so good thing to get this out of the system now. Come on lads, heads on, season starts here.