Report: Our Nonsuch heroes journeyed to the depths of Croydon on Saturday with the task of slaying sleeping dragon Croydon MOs, who sat at 5th place. Having lost 5-0 in the first encounter, Croydon bit back at Fortress Nonsuch with a 2-2 draw, robbing Cheam of 2 crucial points. Could our heroes put this foe to rest?
Croydon began with particular confidence on the ball, leaving the heroes singed – but not burnt. Cheam were quick to gain control and, from a penalty corner, a chance fell to Andy Martin, who slotted the ball to the left of the dragon’s den. 1-0.
Midway through the half, Andy Wright was carded, giving the Croydon beast a chance to claw her way back. Alas, Gareth Lautenberg finished a solo run, striking a reverse stick nutmeg with furious anger. The beast was bleeding, but she was not dead.
The second half began with another Cheam onslaught. A defender was struck by the ball on his greaves, and a penalty flick was awarded to the heroes. Richard Eggleton bravely stepped forward and delivered a mighty blow to the belly. There was much rejoicing.
The Croydon beast saw red, and one of her henchmen blew hot air. He was dishonourably discharged, and our heroes took full advantage. Faraz Shibli struck a reverse sweep to silence his critics (you know who you are). Be it legend or myth – we may never know – but some swore they heard the backboard cry.
The last 10 minutes saw the heroes relax – perhaps too much so. The dragon delivered a dying blow, leaving the score at 4-1. When the final whistle blew, the beast lay slain; her spirit vanquished. The Cheam heroes feasted and rejoiced, and went back to their wives to fight another day...
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