I think we should be excited for match days, although from what I've heard about some of the innovations that will be brought to the post-match punishments we should probably view it with some trepidation.

You were an unbeaten captain last season. Why did it all go so right?

I'd like to say it was down to great tactical decisions and successful man management of Shashi and Gary Allen. But that would be a lie, a lot of it was down to the great team spirit created by seeing so many people getting drunk in tweed jackets after a match. And having Jonny Eales in the team. Actually it was mostly having Jonny Eales in the team.

Any predictions for the new season?

Tricky, last season we introduced knitted ties. This season maybe pocket squares?

Any personal goals or targets?

Breaking fewer sticks than Ted.

Best moment / match of last season?

When Goalman deflected in his 5th goal of the match in the last game of the season we celebrated it so much the opposition defender said to him "what's going on? You're celebrating like you just won the league" he replied "well we did win the league, but that's not why we're celebrating". There were a so many good things about last season.

...and the worst?

James Buchols losing his moustache, he's half a man without it.

3s player to look out for this season?

Rumour has it that Dom Beales has got his knees fixed, so I think he'll be a player to look out for.

Where do you stand on the 'keeper debate? Are 'keepers people? Or targets?

I think I'd have to say people, as they are kind enough to let in everything Dom hits at them in training...

If you had to, which other team / club would you go on a social in Putney with?

Dutch national team, so that Ted could meet his man crush Robbert Kemperman

There are a number 'loose cannons' in the 3s squad. If everyone was given £1million, who would spend it in the most interesting way?

If by interesting you mean fritter away with reckless abandonment, then I think there are a number of candidates. I'd probably go for Andy Hart. Although he might just team up with Ian Keddie and use it to buy 200,000 pints of Fruli for James Mantle. James Mantle loves Fruli.

If the 3s were a food, what would they be?

We'd like to think Chateaubriand, but really it's chicken and pasta with curry sauce judging by what we have after home games most weeks.

and if we were a boxer, what would our walkout music be?

Hip Hop by Dead Prez. Ted put it on the boombox last season as we warmed up hungover for a 10am match against OGs. He's convinced it helped get the team going, or at least left our opponents slightly confused. Either way we won the match so I reckon we should stick with it.

Who would you say looks more like Joe Oddy: Dom Beales, James Morris or Joe Oddy?

Mark Knopfler

Ted Szuman is given a hunting rifle and a flat cap in the forest. What kill does he come back with?

Shashi's teddy bear

You see #GaryAllen sporting an Epsom HC shirt while out shopping with the Mrs. How do you punish him post-match on Saturday?

Send him to the forest where Ted is hunting.

Hockey, Cricket, Horses and Waitrose seem to go hand-in-hand. Using evidence to back up your arguement, how posh are you on a scale of 1-10? (10 being posh, and 1 being any character from TOWIE)

I was raised by hobbits in a field in Norfolk, so can't really claim much on the posh scale. Although I do now live in Wimbledon within a short distance from three Waitrose stores, and have often tried to teach Micheal Karolak how to tie a Windsor knot properly, so I'd probably say a 6.

What tattoo should Shashi get for losing the bet on our unbeaten season?

A map of Surrey with opposition pitches highlighted. It'll stop him travelling all the way to the club house for a lift back to the pitches that are by his house.

and finally... Any words of advice for opposing players reading this page?

If Shashi is playing, and he fouls you, it is genuinely because he doesn't know the rules rather than being malicious. Also if you fancy a boat race or a couple of rounds of gin face after a match we're always keen.

Next up... Krish